Why cows are not Baptist

I am not making this up.  According to Reuters, scientists have discovered that cows line up with the North-South magnetic axis of the earth when grazing.  Here’s how they figured this out:

The researchers studied 8,510 satellite images of cattle and deer herds derived from Google Earth from around the globe, including 308 pastures and plains.

Before Google Earth, who knew?  This information brings lots of important uses to mind:

  1. Large hairy compass. If you are ever lost, find a cow and you’ll know which way north is.  Unless of course, it’s pointed south.
  2. Okay, actually I can’t think of any more uses for this information, but I’m sure there must be some.

But, wouldn’t it also be interesting to know which way most church buildings face?  Or, better yet, if left to their own devices, how deacons would organize themselves.  I would be amazed if they were all pointing in the same direction!

Of course, research like this would never work with Baptists.  Before Google Earth could snap a photo of a herd of Baptists, we would split to form another group moving in the opposite direction.  Which is proof positive that cows are not Baptist.  Thank you.

7 thoughts on “Why cows are not Baptist”

  1. I’m not so sure. I’ve heard plenty of Baptist sermons that were full of bull.

    [O.K. I’ve preached a few too, but that’s beside the point!]

    Seriously, very funny stuff.

  2. It’s been a while since I’ve been here. About a year ago we had a conversation.

    Anyway, great post. I have been wanting to pull a “man vs. wild”…this may come in handy. And the joke is pretty funny too. My father in law is a Baptist preacher, he would appreciate this post (seriously).

    Oh, and by the way, Catholic altars face east to honor Christ who rose in the early morning on the first Easter Sunday. (Like the sun–in the east)…also some significance in Ezekiel 43:1ff. I bet most early Christian Jews would have recalled this. Nothing wrong with honoring God’s son I guess.


  3. TDZ, I’m aware of the gender distinction, but based on the content of the article, I was using “cow” in its secondary, though at least equally common definition “a domestic bovine animal regardless of sex or age.”

    Now, it might successfully be argued that the male of the species is better described as “full of it,” but that’s a different post altogether! 🙂

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