A New Model Merges Pastoral Care and Social Action

I am speaking tomorrow at Duke Divinity School to students in the Rural Ministry Colloquia, a monthly gathering of students involved in, or interested in, rural church ministry.  I have been asked to tell our story of how we started a community center, community music school, and several other projects here in our small town of 1300 people.

In addition to telling our story, I’m also going to share some very quick thoughts about the role of small churches in rural areas.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the theology and practice of pastoral care in a missional church, and how that is different from pastoral care in traditional churches.  I think I’ve come up with a least a few questions, if not fully-formed answers.  Here’s some of what I’ll share tomorrow:

1. Missional theology and praxis calls for contextual, incarnational engagement with the community.  How does “the care of souls” fit into the missio Dei and our part in it?
2. Why is pastoral care largely ignored in the on-going conversations about the tranformation of the church?
3. Given the social structures of rural society, and the aging populations of small town and rural America, shouldn’t “the care of souls” be a part of our intentional ministry, and not just an afterthought during times of crisis?
4. Considering the rampant poverty, increased alcohol and drug abuse problems, lower educational levels, and other social issues affecting rural areas, shouldn’t our care of people also include care for the community, and the transformation of communal issues?

I am also proposing tomorrow a new way to look at pastoral care and social action (which is not a term I like, but I can’t think of another more descriptive).

The typical pastoral care model is a dyad of both the spiritual and psychological care of a person or family.  The typical “social gospel” model (or social action model) is a dyad of  spiritual and sociological engagement with a community, or group in a community.

I am proposing a new model that is a synthesis of both pastoral care and social gospel — a triad of the spiritual, psychological, and sociological concerns addressed by both individual approaches to care, and communal approaches to care.

In the Bible, salvation is often seen as coming to a people, not just individuals.  Certainly, the salvation of Israel was not thought of as future, but as a present reality that God could, and often did, provide.  This does not diminish the importance and necessity of a personal response to Jesus’ call to “come and follow me” but rather it broadens that call to include the salvation of social systems and communities.

I believe that “the care of souls” is going to burst into our theological imaginations in new and exciting ways.  Some of those will be that care will be more relational and less educational; and, more contextual and less general.

The “care of souls” will also fill the gaps in the social fabric of rural communities who have lost much of their social framework to chain stores, increased mobility, and the loss of public spaces.  I am convinced that we need to see our communities, not just as potential additions to our membership roles, but as “sheep without a shepherd.”

Creating networks of caring, training spiritual directors, offering healing solutions to intractable social problems — these are some of the new ways in which pastoral care in the missional church finds new expression.   One of the primary tasks of churches is to make meaning out of life’s stages and events.  By viewing our communities, and the individuals and families within them, as in need of Christian care, I believe we change the tone and effect of what we are doing.

What do you think?  How has your church, small or large, had opportunity to express care both for individuals and the entire community?  How have you brought about community transformation through “the care of souls?”  I’m really interested in gathering examples of churches doing this because I think it’s the next new awareness of the missional movement.

Filed under: Community, Congregation, Missional Church, Pastoral Care, church as abbey, culture, evangelism, leadership, outreach, spirituality, trends , church, meaning, missional, Pastoral Care, psychological, social action, social gospel, sociological, spiritual, theology

The Care of Souls as Outreach

My latest interest focuses on exploring pastoral care as outreach.  I talk to lots of small church pastors and leaders, picking their brains for stories of smaller churches doing effective ministry.  More and more I’m hearing stories of people helping people — people caring for people –  as a means of outreach.

Pastoral care, to use the well-worn phrase, has not been in vogue in the past 20-years or so — really since the church growth movement changed the pastor from shepherd to CEO.  (But that’s another story for another post.)

David Augsburger, Professor of Pastoral Care and Counseling at Fuller Seminary,  bemoans the neglect of pastoral care in evangelical churches today.  In their new book, Connected, sociologists Nicholas A. Christakis and James H. Fowler point out that 12% of Americans have no one in their network with whom they can discuss important matters, or go out with socially.  That in itself should present churches with new opportunities for caring ministry.  But, too often the care of souls, or “the cure of souls” as it was called about 500 years ago, conjures up images of the pastor as pseudo-counselor or chaplain. Hand-holding is not what most pastors aspire to, even if we all have to do some of it on occasion.

But the kind of care I’m talking about isn’t psycho-spiritual navel-gazing.  Nor is it practiced only by pastors.  I’m talking about the kind of care that seeks out those in need and helps them.  And, help isn’t just defined in spiritual or psychological terms.  Help, or care, is that which responds actively — with food, rent, a warm meal, a heartfelt conversation, or a word of encouragement.

Just about every church I’ve written about exhibits some form of caring ministry.  Small churches can do that because caring is about relationships with people; not programs or marketing.  The big kicker is that the unchurched are ahead of us on this one — they think the church ought to do more caring for people in need.

What are your experiences?  Have you used a caring ministry as outreach?  What were your results?  How did caring change both you, and your church?  Let me know because this is a topic I’m going to visit regularly from time to time.

Filed under: Congregation, Missional Church, Pastoral Care, bless the world, church as abbey, trends , connected, counseling, cure of souls, david augsburger, helping others, Pastoral Care, people, relationships, the care of souls

Foolproof evangelism program needs no budget or training

“Here’s a foolproof evangelism program that requires no budget, no training, and can be implemented immediately.”  That’s the way I introduced one of my seminars at The Billy Graham School of Evangelism last week.  Participants suspected there was some kind of catch, but showed up anyway.  Sure enough, there was some kind of catch.

But the catch is a good one — this program of evangelism comes from the words of Jesus, is not optional, and has eternal consequences.  Plus, it needs no budget, no training, and can be implemented immediately.  And, church size has nothing to do with its success or impact.  Any church can do it, and every church should.

What is it?  Doing good.  Helping others.  Showing we care.  The care of souls.  Social gospel.  Whatever you want to call it, it’s found in Matthew 25:31-46.  Here’s part of it:

³⁴“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

Jesus continues by saying that those who did not do this “will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”  Sounds pretty important to me.  Everybody can do this, and small churches can do it just as well as megachurches, maybe even better.

So, that’s it.  Doing good.  Helping others.  Meeting needs.  Because when you do you are doing it unto Jesus himself.  That’s the catch.

Filed under: Pastoral Care, bless the world, evangelism, matthew, outreach

Practicing Pastoral Courtesy

A real sheep-stealer.

The accusation of sheep-stealing has been made by pastors for as long as there have been at least two pastors in existence.  And, the standard reply from the accused to accuser is, “If you were feeding your sheep, I couldn’t steal ‘em!”  But, that silly exchange raises the serious question of ministerial ethics.  Is anyone “fair game” in the business of attracting new members?  Do pastors have any ethical boundaries when dealing with another church’s members?  And, what would a code of pastoral ethics look like, if there was one?

Here are three situations from my own experience to illustrate the need for a ministerial code of ethics:

Situation One: I received a request to visit an elderly couple who are members of another church in our town.  The request came from a family member.  The mother was hospitalized, and the father was in ill-health.  The couple had been members of our church over 30 years ago, but a disagreement within our congregation led them to join another church.

I assured the caller that I would be happy to visit this couple.  After our conversation ended, I phoned my fellow pastor at the couple’s current church to alert him to the request, and tell him I had agreed to visit with this elderly couple.  He thanked me for my “collegiality” and appreciated my taking time to give him a heads up on the couple’s situation.

Situation Two: Last year a leader of my church informed me that a fellow pastor (not the same one) had visited one of our members in the rehabilitation center where my member was a patient.  “You’ve got some competition,” this church leader told me.  Needless to say, I felt defensive and a little annoyed that my several visits to this person had gone unreported, while one visit from a neighboring pastor had been. I am sure this pastor would have been deeply embarassed to know their well-intentioned visit caused me distress.

Situation Three: Another local church “honored” one of our members a couple of years ago during a special Sunday morning service.  Several of our church families attended the other church to support our member who was “honored” that day.   The honoree is a respected member of the community, but with no ties to the church who “honored” him.  But, this church promoted the day as a community-wide event.  Our congregation was neither informed of this special event, nor invited to participate.

In all three instances, pastors crossed membership lines to minister in ways that seemed harmless, and that benefited the persons who received their ministry.  But in all three cases, the potential for misinterpretation and accusations of “sheep stealing” existed.

What would your response have been to each situation?  Am I overly sensitive, or should ministers practice some ethical behavior when dealing with another church’s members?  If so, what guidelines would you suggest as a Ministerial Code of Ethics?  Let’s get a conversation going, because I can’t be the only pastor who has experienced this.  Thanks.

Filed under: Community, Congregation, Pastoral Care, leadership, outreach , church members, ministerial ethics, ministers, pastoral courtesy, pastors, sheep stealing

Ministry to high-needs members

Every church I have served has had some high-needs members.  These are the folks who have personality disorders, mental-challenges, or barriers to living that require the help of others regularly.  Your church probably has some of these folks who are made in God’s image, and yet for whom life is extremely difficult.

High-needs members deserve our patient loving-care.  Yet they also need a support group around them so that the burden of caring for them does not fall on one person.

Dr. David Augsburger suggests that it takes 25 church members to “buffer” 1 high-needs church member.  With a ministry ratio of 25:1, the responsibility for arranging transportation, trips to the doctor, or just being a listening ear does not fall on the pastor alone.

Having a wide ministry support group for a high-needs members assures that no one individual gets burned out with the persistent demands on time, energy, and resources.  “Sharing the caring” for someone with high-needs spreads both the burden and the joy of loving-care throughout the congregation.

As a pastor, I have mistakenly taken on ministry to high-needs members single-handedly in the past.  In each instance, both the care receiver and I, the caregiver, wound up frustrated.  I disappointed the high-needs members, not because I did not care, but because I did not invite others to join with me in caring for them.

High-needs members can be served by a combination of pastoral care, church member support, and outside resources such as counselors, mental health therapists, medical personnel, and local helping agencies.  By maintaining a ratio of 25-to-1, the church shares ministry, supports the neediest members, and does not overload the church’s own caring system.   Exceptions to this 25:1 ratio might include intentional ministries such as structured classes for the mentally-challenged if they are staffed properly.

What is your experience with high-need members?  Did you find that others shared their care, or did you do it alone?  Does your church have a model for ministry to high-needs individuals and families, and if so, would you share that with us?  Thanks.

Filed under: Pastoral Care, ethics , church ministry, high needs members, mentally-challenged, Pastoral Care, special needs

What your church members want from their pastor

Looking at the Pastoral Ministry section of almost any Christian bookstore, you might get the idea that congregations want great preaching, inspiring vision, and larger-than-life leadership from their pastor. While those extraordinary gifts are possessed by some pastors, most church members want four very simple things from their pastor:

1. Your time. Your members know you are busy, but most of them want to spend some time with you — a meal, a cup of coffee, a conversation, or a moment where you both connect.  You can’t give all your time to all your members everyday, and they know it.  But make it a point to give some time to someone everyday.  I try to spend my afternoons visiting, calling, or meeting with my members.  My schedule doesn’t always work out, but when it does I am always blessed.
2. Your ear. People like to know they have been heard and their opinions valued.  You may not always agree, but you can always listen.  Most people want a fair hearing even if the outcome is not their preference.  Really hear what your members are saying to you, acknowledge their comments, and assure them that you appreciate them sharing with you.
3. Your presence. When people go to the hospital, they need the presence of their pastor to strengthen them.  When family members gather at the bedside of a dying loved one, they need their pastor.  When a father loses his job, or a single mom faces surgery, or an elderly couple makes the decision to move to assisted-living, they need a pastor to talk to.  Your presence represents God, their church family, their faith, and their hope.  Nothing else will do in those times except your presence.
4. Your prayers. Concerns about family, worries about health, decisions, and mistakes — members have asked me to pray for these concerns and many others.  Take those requests seriously, pray earnestly, and follow-up later find out how you can continue to pray.

Great preaching and inspiring vision are a plus for any pastor.  But the real work of ministry happens in real life situations, especially in the small church.  Spend time with your members.  After all, it’s a compliment to your ministry that they want to spend time with you.

Filed under: Congregation, Pastoral Care, prayer , care, church, congregations, pastor parish relations, pastoral ministry, pastoral prayers

Five Rules for Hospital Visitation

Sitting in my dad’s hospital room today, I found myself seeing things from the patient’s side. Thankfully, my father is much improved and we brought him home tonight.  But just one day in his hospital room taught me some valuable lessons about how a patient’s family feels and what they need.  Here are 5 rules that I wish had been posted in my dad’s room today.

1. Remember the patient is sick.  That may seem obvious, but a number of people thought my dad was up for the latest joke, or lots of banter and good-humored joshing.  He put on a happy face, but was really very uncomfortable, needed to rest, and coughed violently when he got too talkative.
2. Don’t sit down.  In other words, keep your visit brief, express your prayerful support, then leave.  A couple of people came in and stayed way too long today.  The patient needs to know you care, not visit with you for 30-minutes.
3. Offer to help in real ways.  One lady offered to bake some cornbread my dad likes.  He appreciated that because it was something specific.  Others brought food to the house later.  Real help is something the patient wants and needs, not something we want to do for them. 
4. Knock before entering.  At one point my dad wanted to change his pajamas and 3 people picked that moment to come into the room.  Fortunately, embarassment was averted, but knocking would have helped. If I am ever in doubt about whether to enter a room, I ask a nurse to check for me first.  Saves a lot of awkwardness later.
5. Pray. Two pastoral care visitors came and went and neither offered a prayer.  I always offer to pray for the patient unless my judgment tells me otherwise.  Prayers should be brief, hopeful, and encouraging to both patient and family.  I was the only person who prayed for my dad in his room today.

Being on the receiving end of care reminds you of how sensitive we need to be about our conduct in pastoral care situations.  Crises provide an opportunity for us to represent God to others.  Don’t miss that chance.

Filed under: Pastoral Care , crisis counseling, hospital etiquette, hospital visit, Pastoral Care

Pastoral care in the small church

I’m in south Georgia tonight because my father is in the hospital.  He’s doing better after a bad bout of bronchitis, but unfortunately had to celebrate his 89th birthday on Monday from his hospital bed.  “The best thing about my birthday,” he said on Monday, “is that I’m having one!”

When we left Chatham today to make the 10-hour drive, we left 3 people from our congregation in the hospital with their families anxiously waiting by their bedsides.  I had seen each one on Monday before we left.  I prayed with each family, and each one expressed appreciation for my visit.

In times of stress, including hospital stays, families and members need the care of their church staff and members.  I got word today that one of our men was making the rounds in my absence, while his wife was calling their families to offer support.

All this is much better than the story I heard recently.  Seems a family member had taken her elderly parents to a special Friday communion service for shut-ins.  The service was very sweet, and afterward this family member expressed appreciation to the minister for having a special service for those who normally could not attend.  His response dashed the whole thing as he said, “Well, it’s better than having to visit each one of them!” 

The longer I pastor, the more I understand how important it is for members to receive care and support during a crisis.  If your care is done with a grudging attitude, its effect will be slight.  If done with love, its impact will bring comfort.  Mother Teresa said, “There are no great things, only small things done with great love.”  That applies to pastoral care, too.

Filed under: Pastoral Care

How I prepare for a memorial service

A memorial service  should accomplish two things — it should bring comfort to the family, and it should connect with the life of the deceased.  To meet those two criteria, I ask the family to help me by providing these 6 things:

1. Scripture passages.  I ask if they have scripture passages that hold special meaning for them.  I do not promise I will use all the passages, but they usually give me a place to start in message preparation.
2. The Bible that belonged to their loved one.  I have asked if the family would like for me to read from their loved one’s Bible. Some do not have a Bible they have used frequently, and I move on. 
3. Stories. I am looking for stories that characterize their loved one’s life.  These can be funny, serious, spiritual, or everyday stories but they need to capture some aspect of the person’s life.  I always ask if I can share that at the service.  Sometimes people tell you stories as a part of their griefwork, but they do not want them told publicly.
4. Hymns or songs.  In our community we get requests mostly for  traditional hymns like In The Garden or Amazing Grace.   Some families may select recorded songs that may or may not be apppropriate, but you can guide the family to use music that honors both God and the individual’s memory.  I conducted a teenager’s  funeral years ago, and the family played heavy metal music prior to the service.  I thought someone at the funeral home had a radio on.  I complained to the manager, who informed me that this was the family’s request.  I would have tried to steer them to a more appropriate means of honoring their son. 
5. Poems, prayers, or readings.  Some families want a special poem, prayer, or reading used during the service.  I try to accomodate those requests as often as I can.
6. Eulogies.  Often families want to give an opportunity for others at the service to share their memories with the congregation.  I suggest that one or two of these be planned so there is not a long period of silence while waiting.  

If you’re a pastor, you probably have a similar list of helps that you’re looking for when you prepare for a funeral or memorial service.  What questions do you ask?  How do you connect the service with the life of the person being remembered?

Filed under: Pastoral Care, Worship , family, funeral, grief, memorial service, Pastoral Care, sermon preparation

Why I Don’t Do Long-term Counseling

Most people find it easier to call a pastor than a professional counselor when they need someone to talk to.  But just because pastors are easier to get to doesn’t mean we are all equipped for long-term pastoral counseling.  

I know there are a many pastors who are certified pastoral counselors.  I am not among them.  Years ago I decided to limit my serious counseling to one or two visits, then encourage the counselee to seek professional help.

Most people just need someone to listen to them, and most of my counseling ends naturally after one or two meetings.  But for those with persistent problems or serious emotional issues, I steer them to a professional.  Here’s why:

 

1. I am not a trained pastoral counselor.  I have some training in basic pastoral care, but counseling was not my focus.  Serious problems require professional care.  I think it is pastoral malpractice to fail to refer someone whose problems are clearly beyond the scope of most pastors.
2. I don’t have time.  I am the single staff member of a small church in small town with many demands on my time.  I try to act more like the triage department of a hospital emergency room — I evaluate and then refer.  That way I have time for the next emergency.
3. I care enough to refer.  I think this is the most important reason I refer people who need extended counseling.  I care too much about them to take responsibility for their well-being when I know I am under-qualified.  

 

I don’t just drop a person after I refer them, either.  I help them find an affordable counselor, if money is an issue.  I inquire occasionally after referral to see how they are doing.  I do not ask about the specifics of the counseling sessions, I  just express a genuine concern for their well-being.  Almost every situation I have handled like this has turned out well. 

How we handle counseling can have a wide-ranging impact on others.  Rick Warren’s associate, Tom Holladay, has been criticized recently for the counseling advice Saddleback Church gives to abused women and those considering divorce.   What we do in this area does matter. 

How do you handle counseling requests?  If you are a trained counselor, is my approach valid and how could I improve what I do?  Have you ever had a counseling situation deteriorate before you referred the client?  I look forward to hearing your stories about how you handle counseling.

If you Twitter, please copy-n-paste and retweet this –

Why I don’t do long-term counseling and you shouldn’t either. http://tiny.cc/aW09i

Filed under: Pastoral Care , counseling, emotional help, long-term counseling, Pastoral Care, professional counselor, referral, therapists